Paddle-maker sees himself on mission

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By Michael Aubele
VALLEY NEWS DISPATCH
Monday, December 16, 2002

NEW KENSINGTON: Don't do it out of anger. Don't swing too hard and always hug your child when you're done — when you're done spanking him or her using a wooden paddle signed, "Love Joey."

New Kensington resident Joey Salvati, 39, a father of two, was in the shower about a month ago when he first heard God speak to him about the matter. Whether it was an external or internal voice, he wasn't sure. He tried to ignore it, but it kept coming back, day after day, until he realized he had to do something about it. The message was for Salvati to make wooden paddles for corporal punishment and give them to parents who need help disciplining their children.

"I'm just going all by my heart," he said this week while sitting at his kitchen table. In the next room his mother watched TV in complete disagreement with everything he was doing, certain he would go to jail because of it. Upstairs his son worried that his friends at school would label his father a loon.

Salvati, on the other hand, did not have those concerns. His objective was to obey the message. "I believe it was given to me, and I'm sure I'll be buying a lot of timber," he said confident that many parents will agree with what he's doing. Many people disagree, however, including authorities on child discipline. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Spanking has negative consequences and is no more effective than other forms of discipline. In fact, there's often a gray area between when spanking ends and child abuse begins."

The academy found in 1996 that 44 percent of parents who participated in a survey said they used corporal punishment, and that half of those parents said they were angry at the time. A high percentage of parents admitted to having a high level of anger when punishing their children. In addition, the academy has called for a ban on corporal punishment in schools. Most schools that do allow corporal punishment do not spank children without parental consent.

Riverview Superintendent Charles Erdeljac said corporal punishment is not used in the distinct.

He also said he's against its use.

"I am supportive of other means to help make a learning situation for younger persons, rather than teaching them that the world is a violent place," Erdeljac said.

Realizing that many people will link the paddles with abuse, Salvati has taken steps to educate parents on using the paddles properly. On a Web site he launched this week with the help of local Web developer Bill Hall, Salvati outlines the proper way to use the paddles.

The first suggestion is for parents to calibrate the force of their swing by testing it on themselves. "There is only one way to measure effectively —swat yourself on the rump and adjust your swing appropriately," the instructions explain. Also on the site are suggested punishment guidelines. The minimum, one spank, is called for when the child is disrespectful. The maximum, five spanks, is called for when the child does something more serious such as endangering someone's safety or is caught using drugs. Salvati said he did not research the subject or consult parenting experts before launching the site. He is instructing parents with the guidelines he said God gave to him.

Appointment slips are available on the site for parents to download and have their children fill out when they misbehave. Parents are supposed to explain to the child what he or she did wrong and that the child is being punished out of love. "This is all out of love," Salvati said. "A bad person is going to use a baseball bat." Although he has given about 25 paddles away stamped with the words, "Love Joey," above the handle, Salvati said he is going to start stamping the paddles with a red anti-abuse message that reads, "Never in anger."

Salvati said he did not spank his children while they were growing up —until recently. About a week ago, Salvati said his 15-year-old son, Bobby, was disrespectful and was forced to fill out an appointment slip and endure one swat. "I told (Bobby), 'I'll be damned if I'm going to tell other parents to do this and not use it on you,'" Salvati said. Embarrassed about the incident, Bobby said he's less inclined to misbehave again although his father didn't swing too hard.

"I think it's a good idea because it changes me," Bobby said. Seeing a growing problem with children, Salvati, who said he was spanked on occasion but never abused, thinks parents should give up on the popular Time-Out discipline procedure and take a harder line with their children. Playing on a well-know proverb, Salvati said, "Spare the rod and you spoil the child."

To order a paddle

New Kensington resident Joey Salvati has made 85 wooden paddles intended only for disciplining children and is giving them away. The paddles, which weigh about 13 ounces and are about 2 ½ feet long, can be ordered Online at www.Spare-Rods.com at a cost of $5.75 for shipping. Information about using the paddles is included in the Web site. Salvati also has been giving the paddles away in the former Burger King parking lot along Tarentum Bridge Road. He has no plans to ever sell the paddles.

This was found at Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.